normal – Tiggy Upland

Three letters are the charm — and the norm — today in “Ask Tiggy.”

Dear Tiggy,

As a bisexual, is it normal to be attracted to one gender more than another?

-Kaitlyn

Yes, this is normal. Also, being equally attracted to two or more genders is normal. For both of these things, there’s nothing weird about it, there’s nothing wrong with it, you are one of manymanymany humans who feel this way, and neither makes you less bisexual.

Dear Tiggy,

I see myself as a bisexual or pansexual girl. My friend and I were discussing what type of guy looks hottest shirtless. She said she liked the lean type with not too much muscle. Meanwhile, I just couldn’t think of any type I liked most. They all are just shirtless to me; I can’t see anything else and I don’t have a preference.

When it comes to girls, I feel I can be more specific with what I like. Why am I so indifferent to shirtless guys? Is this normal?

-Aleksandra

Yes, this is normal. Your personal trigger-point toward men might be their other parts, physical and otherwise. But your friend is normal, too. Whether or not you are turned on by shirtless men in general is not a litmus test for bisexuality or female heterosexuality.

Attraction is complex: it involves physical, emotional, and behavioral catalysts, and it might change according to your experiences and/or your biology. It all fits under the “normal” tarp. Analyzing it to the hilt will drive you mad, though.

Dear Tiggy,

Is it normal to have attraction to both genders?
If I do have attraction to both genders, does that make God angry?
Is there any religion that allows such a thing?
Are there other people like this, or is it something abnormal that only a few people experience?

I am totally lost. Our society thinks that those who are attracted to their own gender are sick people who should die.

-Bees

Yes, it is normal.

I solemnly, absolutely, positively, 100% guarantee you that it does NOT make God angry.

Yes, there are religions that accept people like us: Metropolitan Community Church, Unitarian Universalists, Quakers, Wiccans, Reform Jews, United Church of Christ, New Age, Reconstructionist Jews, Episcopalians (American Anglicans), Old Catholic Church, Community of Christ (USA, Canada, and Australia), Lutherans, Moravians’ Presbytarians, United Church of Canada, Uniting Church of Australia, United Reform Church of Great Britain, Unity School of Christianity, and Swedenborgian. Buddhists and Hindus vary.

There are many other people all over the world who experience attraction to more than one gender. The bisexual community exists everywhere and we interact with each other regularly in friendship and love.

Bees, please read all of my previous columns. I mean it, read them all. If there are weblinks, click on them. Where they refer you to the Bisexual Resource Center (BRC) website, go there. These are the first, safest steps you can take to grasp a lifeline from the bisexual community. We’re here for you and we know that you are not a sick person. What you’re feeling is not bad, you should not die for it, and God still loves you. I hope as you read my columns you can move toward connecting with the bisexual community in person.

Now, you too can embrace that coveted status, NORMAL, through the most middle-of-the-road trend to hit the middle of the fashion runway: normcore! Let’s all look the part!