Dear Tiggy,
I am a 28-year-old man in a seven-year relationship with my male partner. For the last two years, we have been in an open relationship and have been very successful in our endeavors – so successful that I have come out to my partner about my sexual attraction to women. He has been very supportive and caring about it, and I can’t thank him enough.
I don’t have much experience with women and I’m not sure how to get the ball rolling. I’ve had a lot of female friends that I’ve had feelings for but never took action for obvious reasons. Should I be honest about my sexuality and my relationship? Am I deluding myself for thinking there would be any women interested in me?
—Gay-Now-Bi
Dang it, what’s with all you Wild Deuces lately thinking that no one is going to like you? Gay-Now-Bi, you’ve got a man who loves you enough for a seven-year commitment and accepts you for who you are. You must be the shiznit to attract caliber like that. I bet the whole district digs your chili.
The answers to your questions, in order, are a solid “yes” and a solid “no.” I don’t have quite enough information on your love style or your specific brand of poly relationship to tell you how to proceed but here’s a possible game plan that you might be able to shape to your liking…
Go to mixed-gender parties or bars and get to chatting with a woman you find attractive. Don’t be afraid to flirt – the ladies will love it. If she asks about your relationship status, just say, “I have a boyfriend but we’re open and I’m bi.” If the situation feels right, you two can make out. Then, tell your dude-lovin’ female friends about it. They’ll be psyched for the gossip, and it gives you the perfect “coming out” tool. Better still, it sets the stage for possibly flirting with them in the future; they’ll be more receptive instead of being caught all unawares. Voila, the word will be out that you’re open for business, and customers will not be refused for too much estrogen!
Oh, one more thing: you might want to get hooked up with the bi community and meet the bevy of women who prefer bi guys. Didn’t know that group existed, didja? Check out Ann Herendeen’s books and stand-up comedy…she’ll tell you allll about it.
© 2011 Tiggy Upland. Tiggy Upland reserves the right to use all submitted queries anonymously, in any medium.